A place to whine and cry

I feel the need to type out my feelings and frustrations.  Let's be honest here.  It's not like anyone I know actually sees this so I feel I'm pretty safe.

I'm terribly frustrated and sad.  It took literally two years after having my son to get consistent at going to the gym again.  TWO YEARS!  I'm so much weaker than I was even when I was 6 months pregnant with him.  I feel like I'm having a much harder time getting myself back.  I get injured more and I'm more tired.  Finally, I realized that I was lacking a goal.

My friend Angela suggested that I look into powerlifting, so I did.  That research led me to Strongman and that is where I feel like I found my goal.  In July, my workout partner and I went to a Strongman competition and met a husband and wife that both compete.  They told us about a Strongwoman Challenge.  It was an event to introduce women into the sport and it was to raise money for an organization called ROX and it was only a month away.  My partner and I trained extremely hard for that month.  It was very hard on us physically and mentally.  We ended up taking a whole week from the gym just to recover afterwards.  Anyway, I did so much better than I expected and felt I was in my element.

Afterwards, I got a workout plan from one of the judges and was on my way to build up to the next competition.  Unfortunately, in the two months of training, I've managed to sprain my wrist and now hurt my back.

AND that's where my whining and crying is coming in.  I'm so fucking demoralized.  I'm pissed off.  I finally figured out a goal and had a plan and it's all went to shit.  At first, it was the wrist and I ignored it.  After six weeks I saw that it wasn't getting any better, so I decided to go a month or two with light weight.  I can't even manage to do that because at the end of my first week my back muscle cramped up and I'm in terrible pain.  I guess I'm going to have to become a cardio queen for awhile until this heals.  

Teenage Angst

We were at the park the other day and witnessed typical teenage angst.  There was a young teenage couple arguing, yelling and cursing next to a very busy playground.  I can only assume that part of this was for attention of other people in the park.  Thankfully, there was no physical violence.

There were things that I could have said or possibly should have said,  but I didn't.  I wish that the young couple will realize that more likely than not, in a week this will be one of many arguments and will more than likely be part of their breakup.  In six months to a year, they will start dating new people but they will complain still about each other now and then.  In a couple of years, they will still not like each other.  In five or more years, they will not even remember that argument.  However, they will know how each other is doing because of friends or social media.  They will one day either be genuinely happy for the other person or quite possibly genuinely happy for themselves for moving on and seeing how they avoided that train wreck.

In any case, I decided to remember this moment.  It happens to everyone.  I remember being that drama loving teenager.  I remember arguing for argument sake, even into my first marriage.  I wish people could find out earlier in life that it's so much nicer when you realize that everyone makes mistakes and eventually all that drama was a waste of energy.  I guess you have to go through it to appreciate the lesson in the end.

Operation New Leaf

Well, it only took a year, but I finally got all that stuff out of my basement.  The stuff I didn't sell went to consignment shops or was donated.  I'm so please that I got that monkey off my back.  Onto the next thing...only...I don't know what the next thing is yet.

Someone said I should start a blog...

I told them that I had one, but I don't post to it much and it is pretty boring.  Maybe my Facebook statuses are more exciting.  I guess I should post my good ones here instead.

So, I was sitting at the table eating breakfast with Gibson and started having rambling thoughts:

I'm watching the cars rush by outside as parents rush to get kids to the bus stop then get to work and I'm thankful that we don't have to rush like that and I can let Montana sleep in.

Gibson finally decided to eat scrambled eggs again and with spinach in them too. This is truly a blessing since he's won't hardly eat anything healthy.

I dropped my toast with fruit spread, but I caught it! Unfortunately, I caught it fruit spread side next to my right boob.

Anyway, I was really feeling quite smug about what a fantastic day it was going to be and how it was full of win until that toast thing happened. It was like karma was telling to quit being so cocky.

Oh well, today is supposed to be warmer.

Gibson's 2nd Birthday

Here we are at the beginning of 2014.  I've signed up for the 100k Transformation Challenge through Bodybuilding.com.  I'm looking way bigger than I thought I was.  I was actually embarrassed to post my "before" pictures.  I wasn't even like that when I weighed my heaviest.  Really, there are two winners and each get 50k.  So far, I'm not off to a very good start.

Today, we celebrated my son's 2nd birthday.  We did a construction themed birthday.  It was unbelievably hard to find that type party supplies.  So, I went to Home Depot and go the cheap aprons and carpenter pencils.  I found some cheap 3 ft. tape measures at Walmart.  Finally, I found some wood coloring construction equipment.  All-in-all, I think the goody bags turned out good.  I also made his cake.  It wasn't has hard as his zoo one.  The best part is that I didn't have to make several parts of the cake a couple weeks ahead of time.